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im going to say “you will be boiled” more in my every day life actually because of this image
(via skygenders)
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CGI de-aging will never hold a candle to the power of sitcom characters appearing in flashbacks to college or even high school looking exactly as they do in the present day, played by actors in their 30s or more, but wearing a wig to give them a hairstyle that was fashionable at the time but deeply dated now
This is what it’s all about!!!
(via saltedstickofbutter)
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who wants to see the worst thing ive seen this week
too bad, im showing you anyway
a non-photoshopped picture of someone actually wearing them, for your viewing pleasure
(via saltedstickofbutter)
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It is 1880s America, you are about to spawn as a Historically Significant White Guy. Choose a class:
TROUBLEMAKING FRONTIER PREACHER
- Special Power: Good Christian. Your vague adherence to American protestantism will ensure that law enforcement does not bother you whatsoever.
- Victory condition: Fuck enough of your followers wives to start an inbred theofascist micronation.
MANICALLY AMBITIOUS CON ARTIST
- Special Power: Basic Literacy. You’re poor, but you know how to read. They’ll never expect it. You may forge literally any document and it will be believed 100% of the time.
- Victory Condition: Steal enough money to fuck off to Latin America. A Spanish speaking nation might as well be the moon to your debtors.
EUROPEAN NOBLE FAILSON
- Special Power: Colonial Wealth. Your funny accent, foppish dress, and noble title, will make any American think you are totally good to buy it on credit.
- Victory Condition: Become the boytoy to the wife of some borderline-gangster politician and save up enough political capital to run for office and get addicted to opium.
DOOMED FRONTIER EXPLORER
- Special Power: How The Fuck Are You Alive. Your freakish diet of pork, whiskey, and maple syrup, makes you entirely immune to all physical injury and disease. Somehow.
- Victory Condition: You have one mission, and one mission only. You need to piss off some completely friendly natives. You need to piss them off so bad they leave your stupid ass to starve in a food forest they’ve been cultivating for literally thousands of years.
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🥴
WHY WOULD YOU HIDE THIS IN THE TAGS
(via cunningandfulloftricks)
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I’ve been on a White People Expedition Diary kick recently. I see why Lovecraft was fucking obsessed with this as a framing device, they are insanely compelling.
July 17th, 1884: “Food supplies are low. The Dutchman has eaten so many dog livers that he is now hallucinating from vitamin A poisoning, which is a thing that can happen apparently.”
July 18: “We kicked that faggy Austrian botanist into a ravine. Lmao. Had a lovely bath.”
July 19th 1884: “The Dutchman has been confined to the sled. We have sacrificed our belts to restrain his movements, lest we lose another Austrian to his Poop Madness.”
July 20th 1884: “The men are demanding I leave behind my bathtub. I will not.”
(via saltedstickofbutter)
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btc-official-deactivated2024071:
slasher horror: you better not have premarital sex or gerald “the stabber” douglas is gonna getcha
creepypasta: once there was a teen named alex and he was bullied so hard that he and the acid disfigured him so and he started killing everyone so they call him george the attacker
/x/: there was the skinwalker who stole my best friend’s voice and then man door hand hook car door
r/nosleep: my wife was hungry for raw meat and then she gave birth to The Satan. he looked me in the eyes and said “don’t go outside past midnight or else the eyeless ones might notice.” but it turns out i never had a wife or son and the world ended 5 years ago on this very night.
r/twosentencehorror: i ran out of bloodmilk for my cereal. luckily, the creature provides.
mascot horror: this is silly wiggles, the candy giraffe! explore the silly wiggles candy emporium after dark! the secret ingredient is Love™! also the hidden video tapes will reveal that “Love™” is actually the copyright name for the consciousness of tortured children, mixed with the ground organs of factory workers.
indie horror: i can’t describe this, there are only 7 pixels so idk what’s going on
also get peer reviewed.
(via axolola)
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i found the video
Are you shitting me?
this makes me smile every time
(via saltedstickofbutter)
